Happy new year.

It’s my birthday! I’m 27, which in my mind makes me a motherfucking rockstar. (No jokes about being a motherfucker; I’m a mother, and I masturbate. You do the math.) A good friend pointed out to me a few years back that celebrating New Year’s on January 1^st is quite silly, unless you were born on that day. “Your year”, he said, “starts on your birthday. So celebrate that, revolutionise your life on your birthday”. And it struck me – he was, is, absolutely right! So in honour of today being the first day of my new year, I thought it fitting that I come up with a list of revolutions. That’s not a typo. I don’t like resolutions, generally. They seem to be setting yourself up for failure. You know, things like “Quit smoking”. So, instead, I’ve composed a list of things that I think would be utterly fabulous amounts of fun to do! Things that are stimulating and boundary-smashing; things that will alter on some level every part of my being. I was aiming for 27 things to do in my 27th year. For a few weeks, I was berating myself for not being able to come up with that many but then I realized: Why should I? Why would I? How could I? So I have left some slots blank, because I will continue to evolve, and I will be inspired a thousand times over. And when these things strike, I will add more to the list.

Here you have it – My adventures for my new year!

1. Pose nude for an art class
2. Eat 26 foods I’ve never had before.
3. Go rock-climbing.
4. Post at least 26 times in my public blog.
5. Learn to play an instrument. This also includes re-learning how to read sheet music.
6. Read at least 12 books. Usually, this wouldn’t be a feat for me. It occurred to me recently that I can’t remember the last time I read anything that wasn’t on my laptop screen. Tsk tsk.
7. Go ice-skating.
8. Craft 6 gifts.
9. Learn a language.
10. Become able to touch my toes! (I do not have a raunchy motive for increasing my flexibility. Oh not at all.)
11. Get the tattoo on my foot covered with something far more fitting and fabulous.
12. Learn some variety of Latin dance. Or swing dancing! Fuck yeah poodle skirts!
13. Get my probationary license.
14. Go camping.
15. Master the use of chopsticks.
16. Take up kickboxing.
17. Take singing lessons. This one may just be the most confronting and terrifying thing on this list, despite the fact that I used to be quite the masterful vocalist.
18. Make every second month “Super Frugal Month”. Nothing new is to be purchased, unless necessity dictates. No takeaway, no “shortcuts” that end up destroying my budget, etc   
    
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